waste

i used to think that i wanted to be a doctor. weird.

i could never do that much school, and i’m not talking myself down, i just wouldn’t do it.

if you had 5 years to live, would you spend those years in med school? what’s the point?

there is none and you wouldn’t do it, because med school is never the reason someone goes to med school, it’s the result of the years spent in med school that makes it worth it.

but what if med school were a party, what if you loved med school and wanted to spend the last 5 years of your life doing it. and now of course it’s wrong to say that’s never the case, it’s probably like that for many people. for me it’s not, i’m not passionate in med school.

but maybe there are other things that i am passionate about, things i would want to spend my final days doing.

i don’t know when i’m going to die, could be soon, could be in 500 years, there is no guarantee i will be here tomorrow, so i need to make sure that i love what i’m doing today. now, of course it is important to plan for your future in case you don’t die today, or anytime soon, or ever, but that’s not what i want to live my life for.

i am going to college, and for these few reasons.

1: a wizard in a magical cave holding an orb told me my future would be brighter if i went to college

2: i’m scared i will be unsuccessful in my life if i don’t

3: i am going to have a good time?

4: i want to prove to myself that i can work hard and get a degree

reason 3 is possibly the only reason i truly care about. for some reason i think that i will actually enjoy studying business.

do i think i will be successful after college? no, and i don’t care.

really!? starting a business!? in this economy!? are you crazy!? good luck!

good luck? haha yeah, i don’t need it, because even with good luck i’m not going to make it. who even knows where the world will be in 10 years, do you know how many people there are right now who are trying to start a successful business, do you know how many people there are right now who are my age and are planning to go to business school and start their own business? and everyone older than me who have already started or who are already finishing business school? there’s just no way i’m going to make it.

and that’s a pessimistic point of view, maybe the most realistic, but who cares.

here’s what i’m going to think instead,

i’m gonna get lucky, my business is going to be awesome. i’m going to create a community and change something in this world. i’m going to matter, and i’m going to go somewhere. i’m going to be successful, and happy, and i’m going to be glad i tried.

because why not? thinking like that gets me excited to try hard in school. it makes me want to sit through college, and it makes all of the work that it takes to get there less 𝚖𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚎.

and if i end up dying while in college, i won’t have done it for no reason, i will have enjoyed the time i spent there feeling hopeful and excited.

or maybe this is all backwards, maybe i shouldn’t be thinking this way, maybe i’m being unrealistic, i’m not sure. i don’t know what the future has planned for me.

something i can say for myself, or anyone else who has the same dilemma,

follow your passions, they will lead you to happiness, and better success. if you have passion in what you are doing, then it’s not a waste of your time, and life.

just don’t go out living your life doing something mundane solely for a future self who would rather have the years you wasted.